Dear Future Self...

Thanks to my husband for figuring out how to get our laptop to work, I can actually type this from a real keyboard! #itsthelittlethings

Reflecting back on a journal entry, confused as to why I didn't date it, but it was somewhere between the end of February 2019 and beginning of March 2019. I wrote a small note to my future self..

"You're working on making yourself whole.

 Whole in Jesus Christ. 

A shift is coming and I'm more grounded than I have been.

This shift is good.

I'm confident God has it under control."

Reading that today I realized I am still in that spot. Am I stuck? Not at all. I am working on making myself whole and that is not something that happens over night. As a matter of fact, as a wife and mom of 4, I found it really hard to accept the fact that I needed to carve out time to work on myself. "I'm a wife and a mom, something I always wanted to be I AM whole..or am I?" It took a hard, ugly moment in my marriage for me to realize my husband and my children do not make me whole. Jesus does.

At that moment in life, I made the decision to trust that God had a bigger plan for me. The way life was going was shaky, but I was confident in where I stood. Life came at me and tried to throw me off but my hope is built on something much greater. 

One year later and I still am being molded and shaped, but with a little bit better view of who I am and who God is calling me to be. I'd be lying if I said I got it figured out, I really don't. It is the unknown that calls me back to seek Jesus and what his word says about me. He makes himself known to me and in that I find who I am. A daughter to a kind, gentle, loving, patient, compassionate heavenly Father THEN I find who I start to see who i am as a wife, a mom, and a friend.

Take care of yourself.