The Beginning

A year ago I sat on my couch after a quick phone conversation with Adam. I remember it was quiet, older girls were at school and the baby napping. My thoughts were, “Lord this year is going to be a wild ride, I need to buckle up and trust you” I knew that moment the rest of our year or even lives wouldn’t be the same. I sat and wrote in my journal...

Journal entry 12.11.18

Adam decided it was time to seek help today was hurt first appointment with Dr Heidi. From what he could tell me is that he needs help and the sooner the better, to see what his body and mind need. She compared it to a heart surgeon telling a patient they need surgery right away. 

Hearing Adam tell me how she’s sorta surprised that he is still here to tell her all that he did was a bit scary. I also don’t know all that has gone through Adams head. 

It’s all overwhelming to hear, because I feel bad for Adam, to have to live with this burden. I selfishly am overwhelmed because I feel like I have no room to “fall apart” to “over think” to be depressed or anxious. But I am also reminded that it’s not on me to hold my family together. Nonetheless I’m a bit nervous as to how this journey will play out.

I encourage you to journal, jot down the hard moments. 

-Write down the hard questions, the frustrations, the scary thoughts. To be able to look at those moments makes the good ones even sweeter, it allows us to trust in God more.                           -Take a deep  breath and take one day at a time. 

-Pray or have someone pray for or with you, He hears you. (I am not saying that it can all just be prayed away, but it opens up opportunity to put our faith in something bigger than us) He may not answer when and how you’d like but his promises are true. I am a testament to that!

It sucks to be in the midst of the dark, the difficult, the confusing, the chaos, the mess, the uncertainty. BUT there is a Savior who willingly died for ALL that, who took it all upon himself. Who will carry you through it all just as he carried that rugged, heavy cross with you on his mind.

It gets better. 

-Natasha